YTT Day 4 – Transformation

Today was all about transformation, in all its forms. The mornings are always so beautiful here, I think it’s the part of the day that I like the most. The stillness, quietness, and a whole day ahead of new adventures.


We did a walking meditation in the morning which I really liked. I just never had that awareness before of the soles of my feet. I found myself walking slower and slower, just mesmerised about my feet and the way they move. Like one fellow yogi friend said, it was like the feet were breathing.
Then we did the kriyas, it’s a cleansing practice where you kind of pull in all of your organs. I know, it sounds quite grows but it’s supposed to be good. I actually think I could do it today, I thought I couldn’t but some fellow friends said I did it! At least a little bit. At least, I start to feel it. It’s a burning kind of sensation that feels a bit strange and then you just suck up your organs.
Today we had the stage two of the Nali kriya where we had to release the inner part of the stomach. There is no way I could do that, but it’s ok, still working at stage one. Maybe some day.
We also did Kapalabathi which is a different kriya where you exhale air out quickly. I’ve been doing this one before in yoga classes and in Bikram you do them after every class. So I was happy I had some muscle memory of this.
The morning practice today was my strongest practice ever. I feel the massage yesterday really helped. I felt strong and I had a whole different flow in the vinyasa. Day 4, maybe my body won’t hurt more than this now.
I had two new revelations in this practice. First, I dropped back into a backbend for the first time ever. I was quite scared and never thought I could do this. I’ve been thinking about it for a few days and thought that maybe next week. Then, I was just saying to myself, if not now then when?
So I gathered some courage and stood up to get some help. More importantly, my lower back pain was gone and I could feel I was warm, sweaty and ready. It was easier than I thought and I just kind of flowed with the pose.
The teacher even said I was very flexible, I who always thought I had such a tight back. Maybe not. It was a weird feeling, just folding back and it all came quite natural. Even the way back up I felt grounded and strong. Amazing feeling!
The second pose I never managed to do before was the Uthpluthi. It’s when you sit in lotus and lift up your whole body with your arms. I just assumed that is not accessible for me. My bum is too big and my arms too short, end of the story.
Maybe it’s all this work with the bandhas that has awaken a whole new body awareness in me. I just did it and could feel I was lifting off the ground. Maybe just 1-2 cm but still. So happy. A very strong, happy practice and I felt great.
Then the whole day was really magic. I saw butterflies everywhere. We had a long day in the asana clinic and in the evening it was so beautiful. We all opened up as a group and shared our feelings with each other.
I’ve never had such a strong experience before and it was so strong and magic. There are really some great people here and we are all so supportive, loving and caring for each other like a real yogi tribe.
It is hard, we practice a lot, the training is hard, days are long and there is so much we need to learn in a short time. But we are all there for each other, supportive and we all kind of feel the same things and I could really feel this united energy amongst us.
Then it started to rain heavily and nature just spoke to us. We sang some mantras in the afternoon and in the afternoon practice. The crickets even went silent when we sang OM, that was magic. Another transformative day and today I really felt my body and mind start to change.
It’s like we are peeling off the layers of an onion. We become naked in front of ourselves, no matter we like it or not. Emotions bubble up to the surface, we feel vulnerable and transformation is happening. Such a beautiful thing.
Then in the evening I talked with some yogi friends and one of the teachers. We had amazing discussions about life, zen meditation, nature, yoga and just living. I haven’t had this depth of conversation for a long time and I just felt at home.
This is what I want to do and I’m dedicated and want to become good at it. I can’t wait for tomorrow, another day in paradise.

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