In today’s practice, I felt more calm, both on the inside and on the outside. My new morning routine starts to settle and it isn’t that hard to get up so early (5 am). I enjoy waking up whilst it’s still dark outside. Have some time with my cat Flo, only he is normally awake at this hour. To move slowly down the house, get accustomed to the little light. Drink something warm and pack by bag without stress.
Walking through the crisp morning of Shanghai. The ground is still wet with yellow autumn leaves that cover the pavement. Very little cars and not many people and this silence. The sensation of how I walk slowly, just observing the surroundings. Met a few early morning joggers, the Jianbing lady is preparing her dough (a type of Chinese pancake).
The empty metro and just that smell of autumn, wet, crisp and November. What usually is the darkest month of the year showed today a different beauty.
Today we talked about love and Spanda. That vibration that we so often forget. The feeling you have when you fall in love with someone, the first few months. Then the feeling of when you are overwhelmed, when you are looking at something beautiful, a view, a mountain, a leaf or even a stone. The teacher talked about the “Aha” moment.
It made me realise that also this is something that needs to be practiced to not be forgotten. What I often read in yoga journals and blogs is actually happening to me. I’ve started to become more aware of my surroundings. Maybe a recognition to gratitude to what I am, what I have and what is.
Often we do think about “I have to do this”, or, “I have to go there”. We seldom enjoy the journey. It’s just to go to another place, be somewhere, do something. This morning I enjoyed every part of my journey, even though it was early. It felt weird because I realise I never do this.
Is this what they call “to be mindful”, “be more aware”, and “to be in the moment”? Maybe.
That feeling of when you listen to a beautiful song, words or watching something mindblowing. When it moves your heart you almost feel it will break you, the world in its beauty. I used to have these sensations more often. Perhaps I would allow myself to have these sensations more often.
Singing, listening to music, dancing, all those soulful activities. I kind of stopped. Closed the door to “function” in the society. Maybe I was scared of my feelings, emotions, of letting go. I don’t know.